It’s called the Alice Brader scholarship, and I am in 8th grade.
**This essay is not finished.
I just need opinions about how i should go about writing the intro-paragraph.
Do you have any ideas?
Thanks in advance to anyone who takes the time to read it.
I’m sorry its long….
I know I need transitions between paragraphs.
That’s what I need help with.
Here it is:

“intro paragraph”

I am very interested in contributing to the community. During the summer, I volunteer at Rest Haven Nursing Home, to assist and visit the elderly. It is a wonderful, rewarding experience, and it brings joy to people who do not usually receive much consideration. Similarly, I volunteer at Safety Town, to help young children learn the importance of every day safety. On a different note, I do a lot to help the environment. Twice a year, I travel to Indian Rock Elementary School to speak to a fourth grade class about the environment, and how to support the “going green” movement. I give them tips about how to reduce carbon footprints, and listen to their personal opinions about the topic. Not only am I interested in the environment, I am also involved in politics. Last March, I canvassed in York city to support the Barack Obama campaign. Because of that action, I had the opportunity to meet Barack Obama himself in Lancaster. It was an exhilarating experience to meet someone with such a presence. Animals are an interest of mine, as well. I contributed work to help an SPCA fundraiser, and do my best to lend a hand to animals in need.
As for life goals, I have always had an interest in careers relating to working with wildlife. After traveling to Hawaii many years ago and meeting people with this profession, I have aspired to be a zoologist and wildlife photographer. I am determined to attend University of Rhode Island to study zoology, art, and photography. By going to this institution, I will have the opportunity to be exposed to various careers and options in the zoology field, as well as the fine arts. These have always been dreams of mine, and I believe it is important to go to college to broaden my mind and make myself open to new ideas and concepts. The more I know, the better equipped I am to make a positive impact on the world. Most importantly, college will help me learn more about myself, and who I am. I will discover where my strengths are, and my purpose on this planet. There is a huge significance in attending college, because it teaches extreme responsibility on the students’ part, and allows students to explore who they truly are, as well as have an experience of a lifetime.
Regarding extra-curricular activities, I am very interested in the arts, as I have mentioned before. I am a part of the select singing ensemble, Sounds of Tomorrow at YSMS. In addition, I am involved in the combined seventh and eighth grade chorus. I have been in chorus all through middle school years. Likewise, all three years in York Suburban Middle School, I have participated in the annual school musical. I take private piano lessons outside of school, also. I am the student council secretary for the middle school as well. In order to receive the position of a student council officer, I had to write and present a speech to the entire school on the morning announcements, where the students would then vote for their choice of candidates.
Therefore, I am always looking for ways to better myself. I try to accomplish that objective by helping the community, the environment, and everyone I can to make myself a good human being. It would be an honor to receive an award of such accolade as this. Thank you for your time.

What do you think?

2 ANSWERS To is anyone interested in taking the time to read my scholarship application essay? i need opinions!?

1. Click To Read Answer By: Anne_Marie32




2. Click To Read Answer By: *Muah*