* long story… please bare with me *
before my wife and i got married, i knew that our road ahead would be a challenging one. but nonetheless, we loved each other and i was willing to take on each challenges and carry the burdens for her. i knew from long ago that if you love someone, don’t try and change them but accept them; which i did and still do. but this is all in an attempt for her to be able to grow with me and see and understand the challenges i have to go through at work daily to provide for our family. hoping that she would see the broader picture and would be willing to want to step out and work or better herself for our family sake.
she never worked before in her life and has fears of taking that step. she’s done some internship for her medical assistant license before, but shortly after she graduated, 3 months later, we were pregnant. she didn’t want to try and look for a job in fear of a miscarriage or getting the baby sick from germs. so i had no choice but to say yes.
financially we are ok. i don’t make much, but God blessed me to know how to penny pinch and save. we have our first baby last year and had thought about having a second. but being a single income family in california isn’t easy at all. sure we could move to a different state with lower standard of living, but likewise, what kind of job would i be able to find there. probably in the end, the standard of living and wage would eventually balance out and i’ll still be in the same position.
so initially, our plan was to try and have a 2nd one. but seeing that it would have some impact on us financially, i urged my wife to either go back to school to get a nursing degree or to find a job with her medical assistant degree. at least this way, while we wait to be pregnant, we’re not wasting any time and could possible save up some money.
so here’s where everything gets complicated. my parents lives overseas and wanted us to leave our daughter with them for them to take care of. this way, my wife can either a) go back to school full time or b) find a job while we get pregnant. the thing is.. we don’t want to leave our daughter overseas with my parents, but at the same time, if my wife goes to nursing school (and it’s full time, since it’s a private school) then she won’t be able to care for our daughter while i’m at work. plus my work requires me to travel from time to time, making things even more difficult at home. if we have to send her to daycare, that would easily take out 1/2 of my take home pay. my parent is trying to help that i know, but it’s difficult for us to leave her there. when i suggested maybe we should just leave her there, my wife gets upset at me; which i can understand, but what can we do? LVN degree right now are horrible to find a job. nearly all hospitals won’t hire LVN. but who’s to say they won’t hire after 1.5yrs later when she finally gets her degree? but then again, if there’s no job opportunity after that, then we’ll be back in the same place again.. with her at home taking care of our daughter. nothing wrong with that, just we’ll never be able to save money to better our lives in the future.
now as much as i would like to blame everything on her like she’s lazy and doesn’t want to go work and help the family out financially or she’s selfish and only want to stay home and do nothing while i go to work to deal with craps; i won’t blame her.
instead, in the end, i can only blame myself for not being able to find a job that pays more, being a chicken for trying to take a risk to get a better paying job in a bad economy, and being too loyal to a company for 9 yrs that will just continue to enslave me to pay rates below the norm.
i’m feeling very stuck, confused and want to yell out but can’t. we’re both from the same chinese background. could it be that i’m feel stuck because of my traditional heritages? or maybe i’m just reaching very hard to find an excuse i can cling to and just blame it on that? i feel stuck in between my work, my wife, my parents, my life and feel very cornered and boxed in.
i’ve prayed.. but maybe i’m not listening hard enough…
someone please help me think outside of the box… what to do?

1 ANSWER To Feeling Stuck In A Complicated Goo Called “life”?

1. Click To Read Answer By: Jay Sharky