Comments on: Boyfriend Hasn’t Proposed Still. What Should I Do?

By: friendly

friendly — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 12:22:30 +0000

on the one hand, i totally agree with you that you shoudn’t get in the program in CO b/c there’s nothing concrete in your relationship. BUT. if he doesn’t propose, then it’s not the end all, be all. if he proposes, nothing in your relationship will be any different than it is now. and i promise you that if you keep trying to pressure him into marriage, then you’re gonna lose him. back off and let things progress in their own time.

By: jennifer

jennifer — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 11:28:42 +0000

You have a right to your feelings. You think you should be engaged at this point. Plus he seems kind of callous if you bring it up.
Try this – DON’T act like you are husband wife when you are with him. Be too busy to go. Someone has something going on, or there is a class you need to take. He is taking you for granted. Why marry you if he is getting what he wants anyway.
This may work. But the bottom line is – he is not taking your feelings seriously. And playing with you a little bit. Red flag. You know him better than anyone, but be cautious here.

By: CamM

CamM — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 10:32:46 +0000

Are you in Africa or America? Hmmm, then maybe the “rules” have changed. Who cares what goes on in Africa? YOU two are now in America.
Force him into an engagement/marriage and I can almost promise you a divorce. Why do women think the world starts and ends with marriage and kids?? It doesn’t. You only get married when you BOTH think it is time, not just the woman! Wise up!

By: MISTY

MISTY — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 10:14:07 +0000

My husband and I dated for almost 5 years, 4 before he finally proposed. I gave him an ultimatum; I told him if we didn’t take this relationship to the next level, I was done. I told him I loved him, and I wanted to be his wife, and we lived together, there was no reason we couldn’t or shouldn’t get married. 2 weeks later, I was engaged. Doesn’t work for every body, you have to be prepared to call it quits if this is what you do.
Ultimately, you need to do what’s best for you. Ever heard the saying, why buy the cow when the milk is free? If he’s wanting you to do the nursing program in CO, ask him why should you uproot yourself, if you’re just “dating” him? Tell him you need more of a reason to move to another state.
But you need to talk to him about the marriage issue, it will eat away at you until it’s solved one way or another. Not fair to him or you. If he says he’s not ready, ask him why? What would have to happen for him to become ready? I was really pushy with my husband, and it did push him away some, so I don’t recommend that. But do talk to him, he may have reasons you haven’t considered. Make sure whatever it is, you can work through it together.
Oh, and you can go to nursing school and be a wife.
Ask yourself this too, Do I want a wedding? Or do I want a marriage more? That could be one of his issues…a wedding.

By: ogkmquee

ogkmquee — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 09:38:26 +0000

If I were him I would be wondering if marriage to you is really something that I wanted. If you are getting this mad at him just because he hasn’t proposed yet, then of course he’s not going to want to get married to that. Don’t you want him to propose to you when HE wants to? Isn’t that the whole point? If you pressure him and get angry at him for it then it’s only going to make things worse.

By: NCR

NCR — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 09:11:32 +0000

It doesn’t take three years for people to know if they want to marry the person. After a year and he hasn’t proposed he probably doesn’t want to. If a guy doesn’t want to commit after 3 years he probably doesn’t want to be wit you long term move on. Obviously you’re not happy in a relationship with someone who is willing to wait five years after being together to propose. Find a guy who is ready and willing to commit. This guy is just stringing you along. You owe it to yourself to be with someone who is willing to commit before half a decade has passed. Also don’t pick up your life for someone who isn’t willing to say what they want and could lead you on. Obviously you want to be married, don’t pick up your life when all you might get is a live in relationship that is only beneficial to him.

By: Sara W

Sara W — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 09:11:29 +0000

I think you should wait until you are through with nursing school to make a decision about him. I went to a two year nursing program too, and a lot of the girls left boyfriends and husbands once they became graduate nurses and were independent and making good money. Does he know that you want to be engaged? Some men are very, very clueless. If things are going along well he might not feel a need to change it, regardless of his heritage.

By: Supermom

Supermom — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 09:05:54 +0000

Did you ever think maybe he wants you to do nursing in CO instead because he wants you to be closer and thinks that it’s weird to propose to someone who lives so far away and isn’t going to even be around on a regular basis for the next 2 and a half years. I think if you want to see what he is really wanting to talk to him and consider moving to CO. I don’t see really why you want him to propose at this point when you are in another state about to start a nursing program that takes two years. How are you going to get married living in two different houses and different states living different lives? You wouldn’t be able to live together for at least 2 years and then plan a wedding after that so you are looking at dating for another 2-4 years anyways with the plan you have.

By: HilA

HilA — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 08:58:19 +0000

He might want you to do a nursing program in CO, so you all can live together. Some men are taught that they should live with somebody before they are married to see how they really are. Maybe that’s what’s going on. Maybe you should take that step, and it will show him that you are willing. And he just might take that next step into your alls relationship. Showing that your making a effort, might help him.

By: Betty M

Betty M — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 08:29:11 +0000

It sounds like he wants everything to be his way. Why do you have to pull up roots and move to CO? Why can’t he be the one to move and start over?
Where are you suppose to live if you move to CO? At his house? I wouldn’t even consider living with someone who doesn’t want to marry me.
After 3 years of dating, if your boyfriend hasn’t made it clear to you that he wants to get married and wants to make a future commitment to you. Then I would have to believe that he really doesn’t want to get married and he wants to keep things exactly the way they are.
I personally would tell him that this relationship isn’t going anywhere and it’s time we go our separate ways. You should find someone in AZ that wants to be in a serious relationship and make a future commitment and he should find someone in CO who just wants to get laid.